Lately I've been stuck because I don't know what I want to work on. This has been the case for many weeks.
I've been unsure of what I want to pursue and haven't really done much because of it. I even wrote about this recently and thought I'd figured it out, but I haven't.
Despite the time I've spent thinking about this, it's not as simple as choosing something for the sake of it. There's a set of criteria I have for determining if a venture is worth my time, and unless an idea passes all of it, I don't see any point in working on it.
This criterion includes requisites I must have in order to be happy and feel genuinely fulfilled. Anything less isn't an option:
- Autonomy. Without a high level autonomy to do as I please, I'll be a miserable slave to the capitalist system.
- Passion. Not only without it will I hate my work, but loving what you do also significantly increases the odds of success.
- Purpose. Even if I'm passionate about what I'm working on, if it doesn't have a purpose I consider it a waste of time.
Here's each criteria broken down and why I think it's important:
My chosen endeavour needs to provide both the financial freedom and autonomy required to achieve my ideal lifestyle. That is, a lifestyle where I have the freedom to do as I please. I'm able to work because I want to—not because I have to.
Without this I'll be forced to work continuously for the rest of my life. I know I won't be happy doing that—in fact I expect I'd become very depressed. I honestly don't know how people settle for it without wanting to neck themselves.
Even if I'm extremely passionate about my work, I still don't want to be forced to do it, so the quote "Do what you love, and you’ll never work another day in your life." is bullshit.
My work must be something I'm passionate about. Ideally the work itself should also involve a passion (preferably coding).
The bonus with coding is it also enables a high level of autonomy, meaning it achieves both the goals of autonomy and passion.
Unless I see a clear purpose for what I'm doing, I can't make myself do it. But on the other hand when I have a strong sense of purpose for my work I can work extremely hard.
What I build needs to add legitimate value to the world. If it doesn't, what's the point of building it? I don't find much satisfaction in building things for the sake of it.
Why I've found it so difficult
One of the primary things that's challenging me is finding a project I find meaningful. This has been a lot harder than it sounds.
The problem is I've realised the most important goal that exists is to unite humanity towards a positive future. I can't think of a single goal that trumps this. And because of this, I honestly can't see any purpose working on anything else.
The world today is already a mess and our current trajectory is evidently heading towards a dystopia, so unless things change fast we are fucked. There's literally no way around it.
This concerns me on a regular basis. The state of the world is getting worse every day. Barely anyone is doing anything about it and the action that is occurring is fuck all compared to what's required: the greatest revolution in history.
Considering this is a goal that's absolutely crucial for humanity and the required action isn't being taken, I honestly feel obligated to do something, because if I don't, then who will? This isn't the kind of thing I feel comfortable hoping someone else will take care of.
For the same reason I feel guilt and a lack of purpose in working on anything else, including my passions, such as Vibite. Because while I'm enjoying my life the world is burning (potentially beyond return).
Reasons for my uncertainty
If I'm legitimately serious about this, I know I'm going to have to completely dedicate myself to it. Real results require grand action. If I were to do something minor it would barely make a dent and would therefore be pointless.
Choosing to follow this path has several potential cons:
First of all, doing so may significantly impact my goal for autonomy. I'm not sure how much free time I'll have, how much I'll earn, or how much general freedom I'll have. I'll be trading plenty of my time for the cause instead of enjoying my life doing other things.
Secondly, the most effective path to achieving this may not include a major passion. Preferably I'd love for my career to involve coding, but with this I might not be able to.
And thirdly, it might not even work. I could dedicate myself to this and not achieve my goal. Considering the magnitude of the goal I don't think I'd be surprised if this happened. It's going to require Elon's attitude:
When something is important enough, you do it even if the odds are not in your favor.
Initially my plan was to liberate myself by achieving autonomy, spend plenty of time enjoying life, and then dedicate myself to this. But I'm wondering whether I should be focusing on it right now. The earlier the better, that's for sure.
Doing so would achieve my goal for purpose, meaning it'd be fulfilling and significantly increase my chance for success because I genuinely care about it. Also, as mentioned I'm having a hard time merely focusing on my passions with this lingering in my mind, so perhaps this is the only option anyway.
I'm stuck. I don't know what I want to dedicate my time to. There's many variables and things to consider so I've found it difficult to figure out what to do.
It's not a matter of just choosing something. It's not straightforward which is why I still haven't reached a decision. So right now I'm bored sitting here doing nothing and it sucks.